I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize