where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
