His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
