i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
