When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I enjoy the company of your penis
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
