hell yes lets make some ravioli
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
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