Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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