mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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