You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
