but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
