Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
