We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize