yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
