I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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