dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize