i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
