i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
