I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
