operation have a gay friend backfired
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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