omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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