yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
