That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
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