sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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