yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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