Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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