dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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