Who did Billy Mays play for?
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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