I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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