matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
