just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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