sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Randomize
