I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize