She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
