Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
