I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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