Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
