I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
