Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
