I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
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