just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
