I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Randomize
