thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
