At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
