dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
