DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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