i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
