I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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