I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
