ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I just gift wrapped bread.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
