Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
