I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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