is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
