well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
dude i'm inner monologue high
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
