where am i from again
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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