it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize