i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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