I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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